Evelyn by James Joyce.

Kanta

Rewritten by Sasha Gupta

Having perched herself on the ground, she began to mould the dough and resume her daily duties written out for her by her fate.

“Baba,khana lag gaya hain”- a line she recited many a times with a tired drone. The repugnant scene of her drunken father gormandizing on the food, in front of her, made her long for the days when, she had a mother to take care of her needs as well as her siblings unlike the present where she was reduced to a mere slave to her Pater. Images of banter and fun flashed before her eyes. Whether it was climbing trees to gorge on the first batch of Mangos, or getting drenched in the rain as a result of the Monsoon, these incidents were etched in her memory  for they not only echoed her past but reiterated the misery of living the present. In that perfect world she so longed to be a part off, she had a living mother, siblings and a caring father.

“Kanta!  Kya soch rahi hain?

The beautiful image ceases to exist and she goes back to her drunken father devouring the food laid before him sans her mother, brother Praveen and the fantasy of the immaculate world.

These depressing thoughts were not new. Her positivity made her wake up to her life every morning. However, her understanding of her dire situation always took over, towards the end of the day. Promises made to her ailing mother Sheela Bai, all those years ago, prevented Kanta from wavering from her duties.

“But have I not suffered enough?”-A question that began to haunt her quite aggressively once Amod came into her life. Her deficits were not novel to her however the dream of living a different life was implanted by her lover and possible savior, Amod. He spoke of Mumbai-the land of dreams, Bollywood and money. He spent hours telling her about the lovely people, the machines that took them far and wide in minutes, the food and the glamour.

“Aapki baatein sunkar aisa lagta hai jaise Mumbai swarg hain” she said with absolute awe. As she had never left her village, the unknown intrigued and tempted her.

Kanta was aware of Amods affection for her. She knew he would let her be a part of his life and dreams. Sheela Bai’s daughter soon realized that the dream of sitting beside her paramour on the train to Mumbai could actually become a reality. Amod had already made all the arrangements for their stealthy departure. Having hidden their two year relationship from her father who was vigilant as far her associations and affairs were concerned, trained him to be very efficient.

The plan had been laid out. Amod was to meet her at the station at noon. Her apprehensiveness and nervousness for the future caused her to reach the railway station two hours before the allotted time. Her shaky unstable figure prevented her from handling the crowded and claustrophobic station. Flashes of the future being as disastrous as the present began to bombard her. Was she ready for the “paradise city”? Confusion sets in. Is she supposed to run and risk living another dismal life or is she supposed to stick her with her present depressing life she knew how to handle? The fight was between the known and the unknown.

Amod.

The man that represented change in her life stood before her. Whether she had the courage to take that leap with him, without caring about the world, was at question here.

Voices of her mother’s last words coupled with her father’s raucous voice played in her mind. She could not bear the harassment. In order to cope with the battle within her, she closed her eyes. All forms of tension ceased to exist for all that bad energy miraculously channeled itself to produce one sound-the word “Ja”.

She opened her eye, picked up her back and reached the vehicle that was going to transport her to different world, a different fate.